Wow, I opened up a can of worms this morning on Facebook. But it’s OK because I think we should talk about things and have good discussions without calling each other names and being mad at someone because we have a difference of opinion.
Here is what started all of the discussion.
“I’m looking online at places to worship this morning and I found this line. Just want to know what you think of this message. What kind of message does it send?” Ronnie
“If you decide to bring small children to worship, we respectfully ask that you use our lobby seating area to view the service, if they become noisy or distracting.”
I received a lot of responses and some even contacted me outside of Facebook to tell me how they felt. When we talk about church or children it stirs a lot of people and when it involves children in church it is even more stirring. I have three boys, one is grown and has children of his own, and the other two are 5 and almost 7 years old. I know how distracting children can sometimes be.
When I read this line this morning it just hit me the wrong way. As a person traveling to a town where I don’t know anyone, wanting to go to church, but unwilling to turn my children over to strangers, this bothered me. After deciding to visit this specific church and then reading the information I decided it wasn’t for me and my family. However, after so many people started to respond and share their thoughts I was challenged to go and try the church anyway, just to see if I had made a rash call.
First of all, the service was good. The music was well done, the video graphics were over the top, and the message was solid in most ways. Of course I didn’t agree with the one comment made about the internet destroying lots of marriages. Just for the record, people destroy marriages. If a person is going to cheat, they will cheat, they don’t need to blame easy access on their infidelity.
I tweeted the following message that is really just like my God.
“God has such a great sense of humor. I jokingly told ootbwc I was going out of town because David is preaching a message on marriage relationships. The church we chose to worship in this morning, the message is “The Love Boat” a message on marriage. #ILoveMyGod
I am not a church critic, this church is doing great things, they are reaching a lot of people with 2 campuses and more than 1900 people in attendance on Sunday mornings. That is AWESOME.
Here is where I stand. At Out of the Box, the church where I am the pastor, the children are welcome and wanted in our worship services. We are working hard to help un-churched people find Christ. Most un-churched people that I know would never leave their children with strangers for the first few weeks in a new place, even a church. With this in mind, there are times when it gets a little loud at OOTBWC, there are times when it is my own children. We have children every Sunday who dance and sing, sometimes they get out in the floor and people have to step around them. That’s OK. We’re all adults and we know when it is time to take our children out and on the occasion when someone doesn’t take their child out and that has happened, I will just keep right on going. It really isn’t a problem, it is a thing we will deal with if it ever gets out of hand. I would not place anything online or in any material warning parents ahead of time.
I know there are those who disagree with me on this matter and for good reason but we disagree. No church that I pastor will discourage children in worship. We will work hard to provide ministries for children that relate to them and encourage them to be part of that but we will never insist.
When my family went in, we sat on the front row because that was the best available seats for 4 people, the place was pretty full. I opened up the bulletin for the day and as I scanned the notes I read the following message.
“In order to provide a distraction free environment during the message, we ask that you not leave your seat. If you must get up, please find a seat in the back of the auditorium or watch the rest of the message in the lobby. Thank you.”
I sat with my family for the next hour with my wife and two young boys honestly wondering if someone would come and ask us to leave if one of my children said something or got out of their seat. These messages left me as an outsider feeling unwelcome. I would not attend this church a second time as a Christian who understands that we have a difference of opinion on this matter. Further and more important, if I were someone who did not attend church but happened to visit here and see these messages, I don’t think I would feel welcome then either.
It’s not my place to change this church where there is a good work going on but it is my responsibility at Out of the Box to try and make everyone welcome. Yes we need to make sure the message is heard and yes we need to welcome children and families. If there is a problem, we can deal with them on an individual basis.
I hope you will come to OOTBWC and give us a try. If you encounter a problem, please let me know. If I don’t know about it, I can’t do anything about it.
Ronnie